Have you seen kids who are so disrespectful and so rude it makes your heart want to cry? These kids make you wish you would have a session with their parents and give them a word or two on good parenting. You want to just give them a piece of your mind about why their children act that way. That is until you have children yourself. Then, you understand that most parents out there are most likely trying to the best they can, but learning how to raise a well-behaved child can be hard!
Even the best of us can always get a little bit of help on how to raise a well-behaved child. You are not alone if some days you wonder, will they ever grow to become respectable and well-behaved citizens?
Yes, they absolutely will. As long as they are provided the opportunities to do so through growing. What children learn gets ingrained into their system as they grow older. Once certain behaviors get ingrained into their system, it becomes more and more of a challenge to redirect that behavior and eradicate that behavior. Since we all want model citizens and good people, how do we go about learning how to raise a well-behaved child?
Different Strategies in How to Raise a Well-Behaved Child
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Give your child clear expectations
If we are not firm in our expectations, it can lead children to become easily confused about what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Children thrive on routines and consistency, and it is no different with learning well-behaved behavior.
Coming up with family rules is a good starting point. Sit down as a family, and write down what family rules should be. This is not a time for parents to tell their kids what the rules are. Instead, gently guide them in conversation on what their ideas may be of “good behavior”. Another bonus of this is that it truly gives an insight into what your children already know is or is not acceptable, and that can be easily corrected in this family meaning.
An even better method is coming up with family values. It puts a positive spin on something so children want to work hard to maintain a value instead of not doing something to follow a rule. Teach your child the difference between rules and values, and talk about family values that were important to you growing up. Then move on to establish values on how your family will always treat each other.
Let your child know that in your house rude behavior will not be tolerated. Every other person in the homestead should also be willing to act in the family tradition.
It would not make much sense to the child if the rule was applied selectively. When they learn that rudeness and general bad behavior is not acceptable in your home, they will most likely fall in line pretty well.
Some kids act out as a way of seeking attention from their parents. They learn quickly that if they misbehave, it is one of the fastest ways to get their parent’s attention.
The best way to fix that is to give more positive seeking attention than negative seeking attention. Go out of your way to increase compliments and praise, and start downgrading how quick you respond to the bad behavior. This will help them seek good behavior.
Whether or not children act like it, most still seek out attention and comfort throughout their childhood. Let your kids understand that they are well loved and you will continue loving them unconditionally, no matter what. Many parents worry that kids may take advantage of this. However, this gives children a comfort zone. Also, if they are getting this attention positively, they will try to seek it out less in negative ways.
Provide for the kids emotionally. Use resources to pour into this instead of pouring into toys, games, or other material items.
Set clear consequences for bad behavior
Your child should always know that certain behavior will attract a certain form of discipline. Be firm but fair with the discipline. Do not relent and do not mete out this selectively.
Everyone who behaves in a certain way will have certain consequences. Be consistent with that. Do not punish today and let go tomorrow. Let them know that they will certainly face a specific consequence when they behave badly. It is helpful to remind them that adults have consequences as well when they do bad things.
There have been studies that show that if for example, out of the five times you try to discipline your child for something if you cave in once, your child will try more and more to get that “once” behavior. Make consequences something that is actually able to be accomplished.
Start as early as possible
The earlier you start teaching your kids how to be well behaved, the better the outcome will be for both you and your children. It usually becomes pretty hard to teach them how to behave well when they are grown up already. When they have started at an early age, they will not deviate from that. Acting up will seem too foreign to them.
This has benefits for you also. Parenting is a learning curve, so you can make the mistakes when they are too young to remember. Everything gets easier once it has been done a few times.
Lead by example
You have to be a well-behaved parent if you want the kids to be well behaved too. You cannot go about being rude to others or being disrespectful and expect the kids to be well behaved. Kids observe all these and soak it all in and they will reflect that in their behavior.
Comment below: what is the #1 thing you do to raise a well-behaved child? What parts of this post spoke out to you the most?